Your Body Knows Before You Do
How to use it to get into and stay in the Explore Mindset
Most people think their struggles in hard conversations come from not knowing the right words. But the truth is, the real challenge starts long before anything comes out of your mouth. It starts in your body.
Your body reacts before your brain has even formed a thought. Tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, heat rising in your face, that familiar knot in your stomach — these sensations show up the instant something feels emotionally charged. They’re not random. They’re signals that you’re slipping out of the Explore mindset and into Ignore or Go to War.
The important thing to remember is that these reactions aren’t a flaw. They’re data. They're your body quietly tapping you on the shoulder saying, “This moment matters. Pay attention.”
When we don’t notice these cues, our physiology takes over. The limbic system fires up, our thinking narrows, and suddenly we’re reacting from instinct instead of intention. That’s when conversations derail — not because we’re bad communicators, but because our nervous system has taken the wheel.
Learning to stay in Explore starts with learning to recognise what’s happening in your body. That’s why the PAUSE process is so powerful. When you Pay attention, Allow the sensation, Uncover what triggered you, Separate the reaction from your identity, and then Exhale, you give your nervous system what it needs: a moment to settle. A long, slow exhale brings your prefrontal cortex back online — the part of you capable of curiosity, courage, clarity, and compassion.
This is the foundation of Explore. It’s not an intellectual trick. It’s a physiological state.
When your body is regulated, you can listen properly. You can ask better questions. You can hold someone to account without shaming them. You can stay grounded in discomfort instead of avoiding it or escalating it. In other words, you can show up as the leader you want to be.
A few simple practices help.
Breathing low and slow.
Feeling your feet firmly on the floor.
Dropping your shoulders.
These aren’t small things — they’re the mechanisms that keep you connected to yourself in difficult moments. They create just enough space for choice to emerge again.
And that’s really the heart of this work. Hard conversations aren’t about perfection or clever wording. They’re about staying centred enough that you don’t lose access to your best self when things get pointy.
Your body is not the obstacle. It’s the way back to Explore. When you learn to use it, everything opens up — your clarity, your compassion, your courage, and your ability to handle conversations that once felt impossible.